Tyler Ward - The Rescue (Original Song) - Official Fan Video

recollections

Memories are the best and worst things one can create.
Memories are what made us up.
Without them, we can never be who we are today.
You know how sometimes when you play an old song which meant a lot to you, all these images in your head flashes by and you catch yourself shedding a tear or two?

Memories live in us forever.
Some which we are ashamed of.
Some which we would do anything to relive that moment.
Some which you look back and think of how immature you were.
Some which you regret for not doing the right thing when you had the chance to.
All of these made us stronger and wiser.

As for me, I have tonnes of memories which ranges from impromptu and spontaneous ones to those I choose to not reminisce.
Nonetheless, I cherish every one of it to bits.
They are only thing that belong to me and undoubtedly the most precious.

Don't be afraid to take risks as they might turn out to be your finest recollection ever.
Be immature when you're still young because that's the only time you will be able to.
Let loose and be yourself.
Focus on being yourself rather than trying to impress others with something you're not.
Do what you want if you think it is right because in the long run, your choices affects no one but you.
Thus, off you go now to

"Spend a little more time making something to yourself and spend a little less time trying to impress other people" - The Breakfast Club

angels and tattoos. why?

Black and white.

Yin and Yang.

Heaven and Hell.

Angels and tattoos.

Question answered.

principles of right and wrong

Malaysia's education system is sick.
Yes, I just finished my Moral paper.
And no, I'm not ranting about the sudden change of format.
What I'm ranting this moment is about the whole Moral studies.
Moral values are learnt through experiences.
If memorising 36 sentences teaches us how to be well-mannered, virtuous, decent. etc, I'd be a fucking saint then. Pun intended.

10 days

10 days till the end of SPM.
Looking forward to the days after this major examination.
Not sure of what but I am pretty positive that God has His plans thought out.
On the contrary, it's pretty scary as well not knowing what to expect.
What's ahead of me is a long stretch of road with countless bumps and crossroads.
One fumble and it may change my life forever.

how not to be

I honestly think that this world is a cruel place to live in.
Some people end their own lives because they simply can't take the ugliness.
The image is too repulsive for them to process.
These people were not taught to accept how nasty the world is.

After all, we are just a bunch of selfish people.
All we care about is our own happiness.
How many of us actually mean it when we wish someone 'Happy Birthday' or 'Good Luck' ?
How many of us sincerely wants someone else to be happy?
Maybe your parents, your best friend, your significant other, yes.
Other than that? I don't think so.
Before that, think again why do you love them?
Why do you want them to be happy?
That's solely because them being happy makes you happy, which brings us back to my previous point.

We judge people all the time.
Is it because we think they deserve to be judged?
No. Most of them don't.
We barely know the people we judge and yet we do it anyway.
Why? Because it fucking makes us happy.
In another word, it makes us feel better about ourselves.
Pointing out someone else's flaws so that society overlook our own flaws, which in turn amplifies your flaws.

Now how do we do this?
Humans.. we are complicated.
All our lives, we seek happiness.
And what do we do when happiness is in our hands?
We throw them away.
Then we start the whole ranting and complaining routine, saying that we never deserved happiness.
In the whole process, we never really bothered looking if we found the real happiness because we are too busy reaching the ones further.
In short, we are too self-centered that we sometimes disregard ourselves.

'Cause a kind heart is useless; it's a flaw in this world.

coffee

Coffee is definitely taking its toll on me.
Can you believe it that I actually had one right before I head to bed last night?
It was supposed to keep me awake and energized but to hell with it.
I'm trying to limit myself to one cup a day but it's not going really well.
Hopefully I can stop this habit after SPM.
Fingers crossed.

stay with me

It's pretty tough for me to put what we have and had into words.
Everything that has happened between us are so memorable, precious and dear to me and yet not all of them are worth replaying.
God knows how hard it was for you to keep in touch with me.
But dang it, you did it anyways.
Not that I'm complaining ( I never will in this case ) but all your effort slowly add up and got me stuck.

Thanks for staying by my side even when I pushed you too hard.
No one sees me the way you do and it's really moving to think about.
Just know that you have always been a big chunk of me - an inseparable chunk - and you always will.

2/9

Done with first two papers for SPM.
Language papers.
I mean like, who will flunk language papers right?
It's like the biggest no-no.
Language papers are like the biggest hope for people who don't study consistently a.k.a people like me.
...... I'm not going to lie.
I did badly.

a fool in love

When you truly love someone, you learn to put up with all his flaws.
No matter how many times he hurt you - intentionally or unintentionally - you end up forgiving him.
Each time he hurt you, you tell yourself to not be a fool to forgive him over and over again, but you're just a fool in love.
This is merely because you know that he still loves you regardless what he's been doing to you.
You know at the end of the day, his heart still belongs to you.
He still makes you happy despite all the pain he puts you through.
You still catch yourself smiling at nothing just because he crossed your mind.
He still asks about your day and occasionally sends you 'good morning/goodnight' texts.
You still stare at the pictures of you both that never turned out to be Tumblr-ish.
He still calls you names he knows you secretly love.

Call this imperfect, call this scarred but this is something that you know you can never let go.

stuck in reverse

SPM is like three days away and I've got so much on my mind.
All these voices in my head can't seem to shut up.
I'm just so so so so tired like beyond tired la actually.
Not the exhausted-because-I-had-a-long-day kinda tired.
I  guess it's just the old me thinking too much.

Life has so many ups and downs.
What I'm going through now is definitely one of the lowest I've had.
Yet again, I assume God is playing his games with me.
Right when I thought I've got no one to trust and no one will ever worth my trust, this good ol' friend of mine showed up, again.
Trust me when I say he's always with me (not literally) whenever I'm in trouble.
It feels like God sends him to be with me through it all, like a guardian angel.
Even if we barely talk to each other anymore but there's this unwritten message that we both understand.

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

lies

It's fucking sick when you only find out some bad things when you thought everything is over.
Like why can't you guys fucking give a warning beforehand?
People prefer to just watch you fall and give you a not-so-helpful hand after laughing about it.

You believe lies so eventually you learn to trust no one.

trust

Where do I go when I'm blinded by lies?

Who do I count on when people I thought I knew feels like strangers to me now?

When you get screwed over by so many people, you're afraid to trust anyone.